Azaadi.. dil se..

“Aamchi laingikta aamchya hakkachi , nahi kuynachya baapaachi !!!”

This a Marathi slogan saying 'Our sexuality is our right, no one can deny it' ...along with many other slogan roared on the streets of Mumbai yesterday on August 16, 2009, on the occasion of Queer Azadi March. Organized by 30 NGOs, around 1200-1500 homosexuals & supporters even proud parents & colleagues encroached on roads towards Girgoan chowpatti. Actor Celina jateley flagged off this rally for the second time along with other celebrities.

As Delhi High court gave poll on the side of homosex

uals by removing law section of 377, our victory is being appreciated. So now the war is against the thinking of people. While the saying slogan ‘hum sab gay hai phir bhi hum ek hai” gays were leaving message for other people a message of socialism & humanity. Until we don’t get decriminalized in common man’s heart & get accepted we cannot consider our hard earned victory. There was lot of gathering of spectators along the streets & many people peeking out from their windows & galleries. While dancing on the tune of Nasik baja &Punjabi dhol, performing ‘fugadis’ & wearing colourful gays gave the signal of their existence to the society. I felt proud & great when I saw two grannies holding the banner of ‘Prayas -ek koshish’ joined us in the parade in our support while many of us (gays) were in closet & sitting at home, still worrying about their future! There were mothers of gay son, colleagues of gay professionals walking on the streets for their belief!!

Many people still don’t know what is Gay or homosexuality…While some people like Baba Ramdeo misleading them we have to stand out n say what we really are. We are successful professionals, we are caring people… we are also a common man of India & this world who wants to leave like a human & be treated like a human being.

Every one of us wants a place in heart of people of India. We need to be accepted & treated as with respect for who we are. We need to come out without any hesitance.

We need Azaadi not only on paper but , ‘Dil Se’…

Coming out India...

The Following post in the blog is an article published in the Sunday 'Times of India' (10-05-2009).

I am glad to see Indian people acknowledging the LGBT community. This is a positive sign of accepting the 'LGBT' community from 'people' of India.... India is progressing with such open thoughts which are truly the need for its better future. Indian government is still hindering the development with some heart aching laws like the IPC 377. The code which U.K govt. had abolished, on the contrary, the Indian government is still carrying the load of such a ruthless rule (which was enforced by the British during their rule in India) which criminalizes gays. When the Indian society is seemingly positive in accepting their gays or lesbians... why not the government? Is the 'Sarkar' is just afraid of loosing on their “precious” vote banks? Do they really care for the society? If this section 377 is abolished from the law, most of the GLBT community will have lesser problems in “coming out “.As per a survey India has 2.5 million gays, lesbians & bisexuals, who are open... and there are more who are in closet. This 'coming out' of the GLBT community will not just lessen their social burden but will surely help control the spread of 'AIDS' and many other dreadful STD’s in India. The World Health Organization has supported this & even Health minister of India has requested the Supreme Court of India to abolish or amend section 377 of IPC. Increased gay people “coming out” will lead to gay marriages that would ultimately reduce hidden sexual affairs and yes they can lead their lives independently like any other heterosexual. Ultimately it would enhance the social growth of the country. It is because “It is the people who make the country and yes if the people are happy, the country would definitely progress with leaps and bounds imprinting positive vibes!!!”
If this abolition of the law becomes a reality in the near future it would surely be a great relief & encouragement for the whole LGBT community of India. I strongly feel that people should understand that 'gays' are not different they are “same” just that they are sexually attracted to the same gender. They want love , they too have a passion... accept them for what they are... help them & let them lead their life happily without the sufferings and suffocation... I am thankful to the Times Of India team, who posted not just this news very positively but also some articles published in the previous issues regarding the GLBT community. We need such explicit media support which would help the Indian society in understand the less understood yet the vibrant “GLBT community”.

Gay couples 'marry' with parents' approval, hawan and priests

10 May 2009, 0102 hrs IST, Mansi Choksi, TNN

MUMBAI: Last week, Durban-based sales advisor Joe Singh and his partner Wesley Nolan solemnised their relationship at a ceremony where a Hindu

Swami Bodhananda (far right) conducted Aditya and Michael's 'wedding' .(TOI Photo) More Pictures

priest officiated. In the Singh living room, Wesley tied a necklace with a Ganesha pendant around Joe's neck. The couple, now honeymooning in Mauritius, chose the Ganesha instead of garlands because both of them are "staunch Hindus" and wanted the Elephant God to "ward off evil and remove obstacles from their path".

The grooms had sent out shimmering wedding invitations weeks in advance, had hand-embroidered shervanis shipped all the way from India, and took their vows before a hawan or ceremonial fire. They spent around 18 months preparing for the day and Joe's mother Rita Govender said the larger family had been extraordinarily supportive of the plan.

A year ago, a Mumbai-based IT professional married his white boyfriend of five years in a boisterous ceremony in Seattle. They too had the shervanis and hawan. Around 450 people attended, many of them uncles and aunts from Mumbai. The boy's parents initially had serious reservations about making their son's sexuality public. "But by the end of it, his mother was in mother-in-law mode," laughs one of the guests.

These warm, happy stories may sound unbelievable given the stream of stories of social hostility against gay people, but the fact is that same-sex marriage ceremonies have been performed in Indian households, rich and poor, and in cities and small towns alike. While the hawan nuptials may not have legal standing, the ritual is remarkable in a country where homosexuality is still considered a criminal act punishable by up to ten years' in the clink. Ironically, the police cannot bust a same-sex marriage because a ceremony cannot prove homosexuality as defined by Section 377.

A Mumbai activist from Gay Bombay confirms that there are reports of marriages every week, whether it is a lesbian couple in Punjab or Kerala or gay men in Gujarat or Delhi. Ashok Row Kavi, who pioneered the opening of the closet in India, says he knows several couples who have tied the knot. "There's one big plus-point about Hindu priests," says Kavi with a straight face. "They'll forget about everything if you show them a few bucks."

Same-sex marriage ceremonies are not an entirely new phenomenon, although they've largely stayed under the radar. Sixteen years ago, when Aditya Advani told his parents he was gay, his mum first hugged him and then suggested that he put in a matrimonial ad in a leading Indian newspaper, for a suitable boy. Two years later, in 1993, he brought Michael Tarr home to meet the family. It was on this visit that Aditya complained about having to attend yet another family wedding. "I don't know these people, why do I have to go to the wedding? They would never come for mine," he griped. To which, his mother, a lawyer who, in Aditya's words, "tends to shake the premise of things", said half-jokingly, "Why not? Let's have a ceremony for Michael and you." And so there was one.

In the drawing room of the Advanis' Sundernagar home in Delhi, Aditya Advani and Michael Torr exchanged garlands and made the pheras around a cluster of lamps in the presence of two bronze idols of Lord Hari Hara, a deity that represents the union of Shiva and Vishnu. The family's spiritual mentor, Swami Bodhananda, presided over the simple but radical ceremony. The hall was strung with marigolds, coconuts were cracked open and like good Hindu grooms, Aditya and Michael showed up in sparkling white kurtas. "I don't think there were pagdis, we just forgot about it. The ceremony was so spontaneous that there wasn't any time to plan," says Aditya's mum Kanta, who raised a toast and recited her favourite couplet in the presence of 40 family members and friends. The couple, says Kanta, was ecstatic. "We were all so happy in their happiness, but in all fairness, I left out friends and relatives who I thought would harbour negative feelings about it."

Michael now introduces himself as 'Aditya's half', calls Aditya's parents 'mamma' and 'pappa', their parents visit each other and when the couple comes home for an annual visit, Aditya's parents make sure they have a gift for Michael. They've been together for 16 years, and both readily admit that parental approval has helped hugely in nurturing the bond. "It added an extra meaning and we felt solidified," says Aditya, a landscape architect who lives in San Jose.

Indeed, for most young gay people, nothing is more important than to have their parents present on this most important day of their lives. While very few parents are as liberal as Aditya's, there are cases when even conservative mothers have come around. As happened in the case of an Indian lesbian living in the US, who came out to her traditional Gujarati family. After the tears and tantrums came a grudging acceptance. "Finally, her mother told her that if she had to marry a woman, she should at least make sure she was a Gujarati girl. 'And make sure you send her to me so I can teach her to cook the way our family does', her mother said. She was also worried by one more question: whose house will the baraat leave from?" laughs an activist who knows the girl.

For San Jose residents Arvind Kumar and Ashok Jethanandani too, exchanging vows in Arvind's brother house in Toronto was the most memorable day of their lives. Arvind, a board member of the California Native Plant Society and Ashok, editor of India Currents magazine, met when they were in their early 30s. "We became roommates and then lovers," says Arvind.

Arvind and Ashok were married in a traditional Indian ceremony complete with dhotis and agni. "Ashok and I are very sentimental people, we thought it was a great idea," he says. It was Arvind's mother, who had once adamantly rejected his sexuality, who came up with the idea. "When my family realised that what I had with Ashok was not 'timepass', they accepted us in their own way. He is very special to my family."

Activists say that the same-sex marriage movement has emerged independent of the other issues in the gay rights movement. Most gay activists in India weren't really pushing for marriage because they believed that homophobia and HIV were more pressing battles. Ashok Row Kavi is one of the more vociferous opponents of marriage, which he calls an "oppressive heterosexual institution". Yet, say activists, it's a need that can't be wished away. "It's the number one question we get now from guys coming into the gay community: how can I find a man to marry?" says a Gay Bombay activist.

Most of the same-sex couples who have had big ceremonies live outside India in more open-minded climes like California. One of the few exceptions is the Goa-based celebrity couple of designer Wendell Rodricks and his French partner Jerome Marrel. Last year they completed 25 years together. In 2003, Wendell and Jerome signed the PACS, a French civil ceremony which though not technically a wedding gives same-sex couples rights like any other couple. "It gave our relationship dignity in the eyes of the French law," says Rodricks. Now, they stand in immigration lines together and name each other as partner on visa forms. "My mother, cousins and close friends were all there to join in the celebration," says Rodricks. "There were no vows or rings or anything. After the document was signed we had a party like any family party."

Aditya and Michael were extremely lucky that their family priest, Swami Bodhananda, agreed to preside. "He thought about it for a few days, and then said he understood me and that we could have a ceremony in the presence of Lord Hari Hara," says Aditya. Other gay couples have been less fortunate. "One couple had to eventually be married by a recorded tape which chanted the mantras," says a Mumbai-based software engineer. The Mumbai IT professional in Seattle had to get a white Isckon priest because no other priest was ready to officiate. In Joe Singh's case too, the Durban priest who presided over the ceremony invited anger from many Hindus in South Africa. Arvind hopes the new generation of gays will get its blessings more easily.

(No names have been changed)

Whistle for protest!!!

On this women's day whistle on the gate way of India.... No... this call is not only for women but also for men ...

Till date women always supposed whistle for her help ...when she got beaten up by her husband or others... or she got teased with vulgar whistles & looks by men passing by...But now whistle will be an ' alert '... an alert would be given by a woman to whole world stating she is no longer a victim ... she don't need any pity of society...

On this coming Sunday March 8th , SITA sena... oh this SITA is not at all related to Ramayana... cause she not gonna give any AGNI PARIKSHA! Its 'Sensitivity In True Action'... Aham ...a sensitive social activist has established this theme for this years women's day inspiring from the idea of SITA sena by his very dear blog friend, famous writer & personality 'Shobha De'.When women wear western outfits they get beaten up on the name of 'culture' ...or so called 'protection'... I dont know , what sense tell these 'protectors' that beating is a 'protection'! If a woman gets raped in western outfits or become a victim of a vulgar look... does anyhow our traditional sari is solution for that? if wearing a western outfit shows her body (if a woman wears full length jeans n top how this going to happen?) does sari or Punjabi covers whole body? & anyhow does it affect to 'bad' eyes of men???

And what about men? Traditionally they be open & roam anywhere ... they aren't obscene, never they are! Even if they wear a lungi that exposes 40% (or more) of their naked body, they still don't. And men who wear shorts, they represent Indian culture? I guess they do. Even if it showcases their unwaxed hairy legs. Right? They have liberty to tease & as well as beat any woman ... Why? Just they have an extra weapon in there pants?

This is the time to put your Sensitivity In True Action! Common People.... all sensitive ones try to put your sensitivity in talking ... show these 'extra cultured ' vultures that out senses are ON! Woman is not alone neither she need any pity...This is a call for all Sensitive men to unite for women...On this women's day come on your shortest short on gateway of India... creating a man obscene … The event will start after 12ish in the afternoon… Women come to support yourself & whistle for an Alert on Gate way of India!

Now, Show your ‘GUTS’ men!!! S.I.T.A. Sainiks SEETI BAJAO!

(they abused our women in western outfits in broad day light you see)

for more information visit:http://sita-sena.blogs pot.com/

To Every Indian....

This is my comment over a post on our 60th Independence day written by a famous writer Shobha De...
But this comment or letter is not just for her ...its to everyone of us... including me... & through this letter I want to give a call like people like Sachin Tendulkar , Big B, politicians...everyone who have become millionaire through the money of slumdogs...

"Come front & give your best to country to make it best!"

Since it's very instant writeup many mistakes could arise while reading, please for give me for the same!

for ref see her post on:
http://shobhade.blogspot.com/

Dear Shobha De;

Frankly speaking, I haven't read any of your book yet still I always been impressed by your thoughts & personality , which I have seen through media & newspapers. And somewhere you have been inspired me for English writing.Well your open minded attitude is what needed today's India!Whatever you said in this blog is true , but truly not enough for a country which is on the path of crown of glory. The way 'indianstud' has written is not proper , 'I don't hate India!'like 'him'...but I am not happy with it. and I haven't expected these usual goodie goodie writeup from you... You should have written some negative aspects also. If we see India & Indian people ... what we have best is our culture that's we say ... n another thing we have ruined the same. We are far behind from other countries like South Africa & china , wherein revolution started after a long time than that of India... but gone ahead...60 yrs later , I will not say that we should think only about positive or negative things of our country. But we should try 7 find the solutions for our situations... where are we lacking ? n why? how can we overcome it? Why these countries went ahead whereas we are still heading with the speed of a snail?

The latest reports shows India has more millionaires than any other country in the world ... then contrast is also there we also have biggest poverty here!India is going ahead in Cricket , but what about other games ? India has money to spend lot of money for Sachin & Dhoni, even on Big stars, why India don't have any penny for our building projects , our scientific , medical & social projects? When a govt servant want a rise govt don't have any money but they have for buying new cars for themselves? When our president lands her helicopter on airport leading to a major accident to happen, n very next day our CM gives orders for helipads... what about those common people whose life gets terminated on the muddy & full of trench roads? In India we are loosing value of a 'person'...But solution lies in our hands only... Actually our country has used these solutions before also... & we know the solutions but no one is applying it ...cause the one who should apply cant see the problems! The answer lies with big people of country like politicians , film stars, industrialists , rich cricket players... they are the people who have money & power too ... country cant go ahead only with speeches of political leader , neither only with Amiabh or Sachin... if this is poor country then they are also part of that... when you have power you have grown responsibilities too... What if Sachin bids for his newly used car or Dhoni for his bike ... it would be sold in far great price than it has , cause its used by Sachin & Dhoni... & they can give that money to needful ones... There are people who don't have a torn cloth to wear on there body... &our cricketers have a watch of 15lacks min... Oh.. you will say its his money ...But from where does that money goes to him ? Only shaking a bat on ground would not lead him to a millionaire its the common people who have made him a millionaire... form a slumdog! But these millionaire have capacity to earn more & make golden era for India...! History states how Raja , Maharaja & later industrialists like JRD Tata has helped India in developing... why now these people are forgetting common man on whom they are getting survived?

Mam, may be I have said too much... but its true that Indians are becoming rich but India is a poor country ... but few powerful can make it happen! India can lead the world again...People like you have power to call these powerful people & make them to do their duty!!!

Be youself !(?)

I still remember the story of 'a dog & a donkey' -a story from panchatantra, which I heard in my childhood. It's funny but still meaningful. May be you also have heard that , from your granny or may read in a book...!? Its a story of a dog & a donkey who used to live with their owner who was potter. Donkey used to work with potter for carrying his potteries & other material on his back; while the dog used to sit & keep a eye on his home. Donkey was jealous seeing the dog cause he used to sit at home & he could get bread by just dancing in front of farmer. Seeing this one day donkey decided to act like dog, and ...when potter came home he started jumping n dancing around him ...n of course the irritated potter beat him instead of bread... So MORAL of the story was 'BE YOURSELF!!!'

But are we really following it?? We always try to be what we are not! In front of our friends we show, how are we happy & successful, in front of family how are responsible, in front of society ...how are we descent. How we show ourselves respectable in front of youngsters! A gay try to show that he is macho, like others cutting his own feelings. Does smoking makes a man as 'The Perfect Man'? Does drinking makes a person more socialised? But may be this is the only way to live in this era... if we try to be ourselves we always b hated by people surrounding. Don't you think we have mechanised ourselves? Going mechanical lost everything what we feel from inner soul. What it wants exactly? We put on new masks on our face for every new person we meet. Are we transparent enough to ourselves at least? May be not but still we are happy with it , with not being ourselves ... Then does the story of that donkey & dog told in panchtantra are wrong? Or we are going wrong ...? just think of it...

Dance has no limitations!

Recently I had been to an odissi dance festival held in Smitalay; a well known institute devoted for odissi- a classical dance form. This festival was dedicated to a late male student Vivek Desai. The event was organized for his willingness of learning odissi dance after being a professor of Botany in National college of Bandra. Even it wasn't a big time event still the specialty of it was within its theme; only male dancers from smitalay performed for this event & given their 'shraddhanjali' to Vivek. It was really awesome performance by all of the dancers namely Sumedh, swapnil n many other male dancers & Vivek's friends.

Even today's world where a thin line of difference between male & female is on stage of vanishing; male dancing especially in a classical theater is seen as weirdo. Dance is a synergy, which can’t be bound with any rules or regulations. It doesn’t have any sexual binding or religious one. Whereas in our ancient Indian tradition many dance forms are purposely devoted to males & male gods. And this event of Smitalay was an answer to such rusted thoughts of people.

After the marvelous performances of male dancers, there was an on the spot dance performance given by Dipali & Poulomi; supported on the instruments pakhvaj & satar by Rohan Dahale & Aparna Deodhar viz. After seeing the whole festival they couldn’t stop themselves for performing on the same moment for odissi dance & late vivek, leading to a beautiful musical end of the event.

Jhelum Tai, director of smitalay said that she will like to arrange such a festival devoted to male dancers every year now onwards. If this happens as a big event it can give a charm to dancers in the soul n minds of people, fortunately which will take classical dance to a new era.

हम मुम्बईकर...

पंछी नदीयाँ पवन के झोंके ... कोई सरहद ना इन्हें रोके... सरहदें इन्सानों के लिए है ...सोचो तुमने और मैने क्या पाया इन्साँ होकें... जगजितजी कि गायी हुई यह गज़ल हमें मज़बूर करती है सोचने पर... क्या इन्सान होकें हम खुश है ? इन्सान होके जो हमने पाया है ...क्या वह उतने महत्त्वपूर्ण है हमारे जीवन में ?? क्या कागज़ के चंद तुकडे या कागज़ पे बनाई हुई एक लकिर हमारे लिए सचमुच इतने माइने ऱखते है? यदि नहि तो हम क्यों बन्धे हुए है इस लकिरों में? इन सवालों के जवाँब वैसे तो मिल नहि सकते... पर फिर भी हमारे पासही उनका जवाँब है! हम इतने सालों से अपने जहँम में छूपाएँ है । और फिर भी उसी आँग मे जल रहे है ... उस चंद लकीरों को अपना खुदा मानकर चल रहे है ... और धीरे धीरे वह लकीरे हमारे मन में भी अपनी जगह ले रही है। कहने की बाँत यह नहि है की यह लकीरें जिंदा है ; पर वे जिंदा है हमारे 'मन' में । कभी देश...कभी राज्य ...कभी धर्म ...कभी जाती के रूप में भले हि यह लकीरें कागज़ पे ना हो पर हमारे मन में है। इन्हे दूर करने की जिम्मेवारी भी हमारी है! कल मुम्बई में जो विस्फोटोंका सिलसिला हुआ , वह इसी लकिरोंकी परिणीति है। हम हिंदु है या मुसलमान...गरिब या मालदार ... आनेवाले संकट तो यह नहि देखते है ना? हमें अपने मन कि यह लकिरें मिटाकर...किसी के खलभावना में ना फस कर ...एक दुसरेको सच्चे मन से मदत करनी चाहिये ...यहि आप सबसे गुजारिश है।